Many thanks to Christian (IX1CKN) who shares the following field report: How the Red Corners uSDR+ Performed on Its First Field Test by Christian (IX1CKN) 24 QSOs in 104 minutes at 5 watts—how would you rate that? The answer isn’t exactly scientific, as it depends on personal opinions, habits, and the unique propagation conditions during the activation. … Continue reading Christian takes his new “Red Corners” uSDR+ on a POTA shake-out activation →

I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for my family, Timmy and my friends. I’m grateful for meetings this weekend and rest. I’m grateful for coffee, AA, early mornings even though I also hate them, weather that feels like fall and for being present.

Gooood morning my friends (: Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

Today is a long and busy day and I personally am really wishing for one more day of the weekend. How does Monday sneak up so fast??

I have to be on-site today with some clients and talent for New York Fashion week. I have to be downtown early but hopefully get to come home around 2 where I can finish work and stare longingly at the rescue, we’re hoping to adopt from website to see if they have any new pups. We went to meet a few pups on Saturday, we left empty handed, I am still heartbroken.

Heart break aside the class I registered for starts in a couple of weeks, so I’d love to spend some time today preparing for that as well. And the moral of this play by play of my day today is that I realized late last night that everything is really okay.

I still have the same amount of fear. My therapist told me on Friday that it sounds like what makes me the most uncomfortable is actually my authentic self and that sucked to hear. But that can change.

This on-site today would typically be making me shit my pants with nerves – but I’ve done a million of them before. There’s no fear of someone asking if I want to go to drinks after because I simply do not drink. That’s just a very simple fact for me that doesn’t need to be over thought.

I’m grateful to have a really cool job AND still be aware that it’s time to chase my happiness. Time to open the door for myself which I’m doing by taking this class soon. I’m grateful that we at least got to meet a few pups, understand what we’re looking for and maybe next time, we’ll get to take the dog home that’s meant for us.

I’m grateful someone told me very clearly and directly that it’s me. I am the problem. My uncomfortably stems from me. And while yes, I’ve always known that in one way or another it’s really nice to be learning another set of tools to help my change that. AA is the most wonderful thing, but outside help is great too.

Overall, I just deeply feel like it’s going to be okay. And that might be fleeting. That might be because I’ve been praying consistently again, it might be because I just haven’t had enough coffee or stepped out into the real world yet but all of that is okay too. I don’t have to come up with reasons to NOT feel okay right now. I can just embrace, being present in this moment where everything really is just…fine.

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Xx

Jane

Many thanks to Jeff (VE7EFF) who shares the following guest post: Hiking and Activating the Backcountry  – Two Activations on one Day Trip by Jeff (VE7EFF) Today’s field report, and three more to come, outlines the outdoor hiking/activation adventures of Jeff – VE7EFF and his wife, Alexis – VE7LXE in the backcountry of south-central British … Continue reading Jeff activates two POTA ATNOs in one day trip! →

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve received messages and comments from several readers asking about the X6200 and whether I would recommend it. For those planning to use it in CW mode, I suggest holding off for now. I discovered early in testing that there is a keyer timing issue, especially when operating in … Continue reading Xiegu X6200: Quick note about keyer timing →

I’m grateful for another early morning. I’m grateful for old friends and people who make me laugh. I’m grateful for the farmer’s market and an afternoon of cooking. I’m grateful for the quiet and the peace in my heart. I’m grateful for what was and grateful to live in what is. I’m grateful to be sober today.

LAST WEEK ON TFLMS:

song of the week:

TFLMS Weekend: Where Sobriety Isn’t Just a Consequence…

(last weekend)

I woke up around 6:45 on Saturday, August 24, 2024. That’s late for me, but I tend to sleep well when camping and it must have helped that the previous evening POTA activation by the campfire was pure bliss. There were some noises in the campground that woke me up during the night (probably other … Continue reading Morning on the Trail and On the Air: A Relaxing K2 QRP POTA Activation from the Campsite →

As always there are lots of links within the article. Click one! Click them all! Learn all the things! by Vince (VE6LK) In August and September 2024, I was travelling around Southern Ontario for some family matters and naturally I brought my radio kit with me to squeeze in some radio therapy stops along the … Continue reading Summer evening activation with a buddy →

I’m grateful for a super-early, cloudy morning. I’m grateful to be at my desk, drinking coffee. I’m grateful for being where I am. I’m grateful to see the right things show up at the right time. I’m grateful it’s Friday. I’m grateful to be sober today.

Mystery ?? Button

song of the week:

One of my favorite punchlines is “Well, the matador often wins, but sometimes the bull wins, too…” I’m not sure how that’s connected to the song of the week. I think the only ridiculous costume Captain James T. Kirk does not wear in this montage, is a matador costume.1 But I could be wrong.

This marries two loves of mine: Steve Miller and this song, “Space Cowboy,” and, of course, Star Trek. I watched a lot of Star Trek and was undoubtedly profoundly shaped by it somehow. I have no idea how. The song? It’s kind of a battle-anthem,

For some reason, I was thinking about this song when I was on my son’s ship last weekend. The image of him on the bridge of the ship gazing through the super-powerful binoculars is what came up for me. The trip was amazing, but what was more amazing was getting to see him at work. I got to see how much people respect him, how he’s a natural leader, how other people know they can count on him. He has a pretty important job on the ship and the thing that really gets me was the way the Master Chiefs snapped off salutes to him. I saw them occasionally toss semi-relaxed salutes to the other junior officers, but it was different with my Lieutenant, and it was impossible to not notice. You know how proud I said I was last week? Well, double that or something.

Anyway, the video made me laugh and that always moves the needle with me, especially on a Friday that caps an exceptionally busy week for a certain aging veteran. I had snuck down to the 44th floor reception area to get a coffee and a snack, it was about 3:30 and I realized two things:

I’m at a place in life that I really didn’t imagine and it certainly wasn’t part of an intricate plan. It happened when I stopped trying to determine results. It happened when I did my part, the next right thing, showing up as myself, working hard and being kind. This is not me patting myself on the back, it’s me recognizing that those are the things I can do, the things that are usually within my power. How did I get here? To this place where things are really, really okay and I’m happy?

I finally learned what letting go meant.

This is a phrase I actually very much hate. I used to hear this from the therapist-of-the-month or during a stint in rehab or in a 1-on-1 session at the IOP because I had tested positive yet again. When I would spill out whatever it was that was tearing my psyche apart, a relationship, or at work, where I was not sufficiently treasured and adored, I would hear these same words over and over,

You have to let that go.

Here’s the problem: I had no idea what that f****** meant? I used to rant that I’d be all over this “letting go” thing—just give me the instructions and I’m off to the races. No one could give me any more specifics, they’d just repeat themselves,

You have to let that go.

There is a quote attributed to Buddha:

The “not meant for you” part is the heart of this. While I was drinking, while I thought I was driving the boat, I had a pretty solid idea of where we were supposed to be headed and what our ETA should be. Now, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having goals and aspirations; , I think it’s actually really important—but it was more important to realize that I’m just a cog in the great machine of the Universe—whatever that is and however that works.

I’ve been watching a fair amount of “Rick and Morty” lately. For some reason, I’m find myself taking notes on how to be a grandfather—I think there is a lot to be said for Rick’s approach. I like how he uses way over-complicated things to solve routine tasks. I’m very familiar with that mindset, although I don’t have the time-travel thing down. But look out when I do.

Anyway, in one episode, there is a line attributed to Rick about the despair created by the realization that in the vastness of the universe, we are literally nothing. Which is true—at some level. I find myself asking, then why am I here? This next part is an exercise in faith and belief, and reasonable minds will definitely differ on this point, but my own personal belief is that there is some “reason” we’re all here and that we bump into other people’s lives and our own lives bounce around and so on and so on in pursuit of this “reason.”

Maybe it’s true that our entire Universe is encapsulated in a single electron, or that we exist as figments of the imagination of a 13 year-old boy and ChatGPT version 265. I guess it’s possible that everything is random or probabilistic, but in that view, nothing means anything; Life is simply an exercise in making the best of it.

I don’t buy that. I’m not sure how any of this happens, but I think there is a power that binds us together. It doesn’t work, at least for me, by forcing me to do certain things, it seems to work more by eliminating choices for me. This is not a pleasant process, and I have learned that I’m not required to wait until the Universe has shown me that I’m out of choices to make changes. I think we bounce into each other with some elements of randomness, but there is also a purpose.

I think we are meant to learn from each other—the challenge for me was not understanding in advance what it was I was supposed to learn. I’m cool with this learning stuff, but why don’t you tell me what the degree is? But that’s not the point, and that is definitely above my pay-grade. The other hard part was learning to accept that sometimes the lessons were meant for the other person; I was simply an actor in their play, somehow helped them to get from point A to point B. But I didn’t know anything about that, I only knew my part.

That turns out to be the essence of letting go. I think it’s more accurately described as doing my part and trusting that will be enough. I don’t lay awake anymore wishing I had done or said things differently; If only I had done this, or that, things would have turned out differently. Those are the thoughts that drove me to a barstool again and again. The thought that helped me get sober:

The things that are supposed to happen, generally do happen.

Just not on a schedule that I can put on my calendar, or in a way that I can anticipate. I have to believe that whatever happens, well it was something that was supposed to happen for me or someone else. My job is to do my job: Be kind, show up as myself, work hard and gracefully let go of the things that aren’t meant for me.

What is meant for me? I don’t know. It feels like I’ve been waiting for a very long time to find out the answer to this very important question. But then I realize it’s not an important question at all, in fact, it is probably unanswerable. What’s meant for me is the very next moment and the only thing I can change is myself in that moment. I think the things and people that are meant for me, can’t be avoided. The right things have a way of coming around again, like comets orbiting the solar system.

Letting go is actually an exercise in faith and belief and it’s not a negative thing. I think it has more to do with realizing that the pesky right thing will eventually present itself at the right time and in the right way. How will I know? I think we can’t avoid the things that are supposed to happen and that includes the right things. Even if they seem far away for now.

When I headed for the subway home last night, after a very, very busy day, I noticed how happy I was. I was happy when I realized that I had sesame noodles in the fridge; I was happy when the Express 6 pulled up just as I set foot on the platform. I was happy when I got to sit. I was happy as I walked through my lovely, lively neighborhood and so happy when I walked into my apartment, with all of my lovely views, with all of the lovely feelings I get here. I realize—this is the thing that’s supposed to be happening now.

And it’s beautiful, this life I get to lead. It’s full of meaning and possibility. It’s full of personal growth and hard work. It’s full of the right things. The catch is, if you’re holding on to the wrong things, the things from the past that were never yours, or the things that were never meant to be permanent, then there is no room for the right things.

The more I tried to fill my own cup, well, the more Sauvignon Blanc I had to drink.

Letting go turns out to be one of the most important parts of sobriety. I had to let go of the life I thought I was supposed to lead. I had to let go of the belief that I wasn’t enough for the world, as I was. I had to let go of the fear that I would never find my right place in the world. It turns out, it was a lot more straight-forward than I thought. I simply had to recognize that the right place is here and the right time is now. Right where I am. Right where I’ve been placed.

Happy Friday.

As always there are lots of links within the article. Click one! Click them all! Learn all the things! by Vince (VE6LK) In August and September 2024 I was travelling around Southern Ontario for some family matters and naturally I brought my radio kit with me to squeeze in some radio therapy stops along the … Continue reading Cross-border activation between friends →

Many thanks to Micah (N4MJL) who shares the following guest post: Activating Grandeur Peak (W7U/NU-065) by Micah (N4MJL) Emboldened by my successful activation of W7U/SL-022 (7,500ft MSL) a week earlier, I decided to up my SOTA game and try to activate Grandeur Peak (W7U/NU-065). Grandeur Peak is located in the Wasatch Range (POTA Entity US-4398) just to … Continue reading Climbing Grandeur Peak: Micah’s SOTA Adventure in Utah’s Wasatch Range →