Many thanks to Scott (VA3EKR) who shares the following field report which was originally posted on his blog: August 4, 2024, HMCS Haida National Historic Site (CA-4870) by Scott (VA3EKR) I wanted to try out a new park, and so I visited the HMCS Haida National Historic Site (CA-4870). Band conditions were simply awful, so thankfully … Continue reading Scott Activates the HMCS Haida →

I’m grateful for the chill that permeates the air during my morning runs. I’m grateful for our homemade Indian food that’ll last for a few more days. I’m grateful for chairing a NYC meeting I’ve not attended in a while and catching up with the folks in it. I’m grateful getting to celebrate 15 years with a fellow who helped me a lot in the early days. I’m grateful for hearing other people’s take on what Higher Power and spirituality mean to them. I’m grateful for understanding that focusing on self all the time is a harmful, empty way to live. I’m grateful for our shared backyard fence getting fixed. I’m grateful for potentially adding a new evening routine into the mix to promote my serenity. I’m grateful for our home, our car, and our health, and our serenity.

I’ve been thinking a lot more about my Higher Power over the past week. Shares about it at meetings have resonated deeply and I’m noticing my conception of it grow in meaningful ways since moving to Denver. Nearly ever time I read the question Ebby posed to Bill it brings up warm feelings inside me:

“Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”

His words are incredibly freeing. It reinforces that AA to me isn’t a rigid rule book, an exclusive cult, or a graded homework assignment. This Program simply provides a suggestive framework. My responsibility is to fill in the blanks of that framework with my own beliefs, my own life experiences, and my own ideas. While I can get amazing direction and inspiration from a community of fellows, sponsors, and sponsees, the onus is ultimately on me to use the Big Book’s schematics to build my sober sanctuary.

After my Monday meeting I was driving home and saw the mountains majestically backlit by the setting sun. I was surprised at how I got a little emotional at the sight. Since becoming sober in 2021 a lot of my thoughts around what a Higher Power is have been super conceptual – a loose, diverse array of inspirational beliefs that somehow magically work together to lift me up. As I drove home I realized since coming to Denver these intangible concepts of my Higher Power have become tethered to something distinctly visual for the first time. It is evident during my runs in the neighborhood, as I’m driving around the city, or whenever I’m taking the dog out for a walk. The Front Range mountains that I see daily are the latest addition to my Higher Power composite.

When I see these mountains I’m reminded how they’ve been standing there for thousands of years. Through the entirety of human history their stoic presence has been a constant. They will live long after I’m gone from this Earth and perhaps one day my atomic particles may be a part of them. This somewhat unintentional move around tethering the abstraction of my Higher Power to the clear visual of the mountains have made my spiritual experiences feel more immediately accessible and more regular. When I have a problem weighing me down I walk to the east end of Cheesman Park and stare out at the Rockies. Observing them from afar reminds my brain to give itself space to reflect. When I give myself space to reflect I can more easily put matters in perspective. Having the mountains looming out there during this period of rumination reminds me in a powerful way that something greater than myself exists. Something that has and will outlast any disaster or success I go through. Comprehending that reality brings me back more easily to a place of humility, acceptance, and peace.

When I started my AA journey I never thought the Rocky Mountains would be a core part of how I conceived of my HP. I figured it would likely be forever amorphous because I felt the only way of grounding my spiritual ideas was to tie it to religious stuff, which felt triggering given my upbringing. However, thanks to Ebby’s empowering, inclusive words I can make the choice to update what my HP is at any point and into any form. This most recent development is a powerful personal reminder that if I remain open-minded, if I remain teachable, if I remain curious then my Higher Power can continue evolving in beautiful, unexpected, and welcome ways.

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by Teri (KO4WFP) After a fun POTA for K2D the previous week, it was time to resume the pursuit of my 2024 goal – 60 new valid POTA activations. Friday, August 30th, I headed to Fort McAllister State Park (US-2175). Though I have lived in Savannah most of my life, I’ve never visited this park … Continue reading The POTA Babe Goes Back in Time →

I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a beautiful day, the day off, for extra rest and for coffee. I’m grateful for my friends, my family, for my sponsor and AA. I’m grateful for hope and words of encouragement. I’m grateful for trying my best and having endless amounts of support.

Gooood morning my friends (: As always, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend & I hope everyone who has off today is soaking up every minute of relaxation they can.

Coming to you a little late today not because I forgot but because I myself, am soaking up every minute of relaxation I can this morning. We are going to blink guys and it’s going to be the New Year. I don’t know about anyone else but September – December just goes by at warp speed.

I’m not really sure what to write today, I’ve written & deleted about 60 times this morning because my head is very much so all over the place. Which is super ironic because I did morning pages this morning for the first time in forever which I believe is supposed to help your brain…not be all over the place? Perhaps I’ll just take my work OOO and put it here?

My brain is out of the office in observance of Labor Day…

I think overarchingly, I am VERY afraid about losing all that momentum I had last week (a form of self-sabotage perhaps?). I leapt and I was so excited about leaping with or without the net but there’s all this time now to doubt myself. And I am starting to crush myself with doubts which is most certainty not what I or what I believe HP wants for me.

I started the Artist’s Way (hence the morning pages) with my sponsor yesterday and she said to me (this wonderful, amazing human who I truly do not know what I would do without), that it doesn’t matter if I believe in myself. HP believes in me and so essentially, the only thing I have to do is stay the course.

I don’t want to doubt myself; I want to believe the things my friends tell me, hear and accept the encouragement my family gives me. I want to trust and it’s so god damn hard. But that’s the thing about leaping, I guess. Just like I said last week & I HAVE to listen to my own words – being afraid and doing it anyway is better (to me) that being so unbearably uncomfortable.

In the meantime, my head is becoming progressively more all over the place today and I think I need a healthy reset. Finish writing, put on some music, clean up the apartment and meet some friends for lunch. Sitting in doubt is definitely not the solution and I am committing to not giving up. Not giving up on the leap or myself no matter how scary or overwhelming or hard it may be. Because that’s all part of it isn’t it?

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Xx

Jane

Friday, August 23, 2024, was packed with activities, but I was looking forward to the evening to wind down and relax. That morning and afternoon, my wife and I ran numerous errands around town. I played chauffeur to my daughters, taking them to their volunteer jobs and Shakespeare classes. The day wrapped up around 5:00 … Continue reading Testing My C6 Rooftop Tent During an Overnight POTA Camping Trip! →

I’m grateful to be back at home. I’m grateful for a cloudy, quiet morning. I’m grateful for the beauty that unfolds in my life when I let it. I’m grateful for inside jokes and really good coffee (I know, but I am). I’m grateful to be sober today.

LAST WEEK ON TFLMS:

song of the week:

TFLMS Weekend: Where Sobriety Isn’t Just a Consequence…

(last weekend)