Over the past few weeks, my buddy Mike (KE8PTX) has quietly made several YouTube videos I thought I’d share here on QRPer.com. By the way, Mike is the fellow behind the new Explorer POTA20 Carbon Fiber Mast Ground Spike. You may have seen me use this in a recent field report and activation video. Ground … Continue reading Videos: Mike’s Insights on the POTA20 Ground Spike and a Clever Tripod Antenna Hack! →

I’m grateful for returning to meetings after a brief hiatus as I’m already feeling the relief of wisdom gained in these rooms impacting my life outside them. I’m grateful for the pithy advice someone gave on how to navigate pain. I’m grateful for reconnecting with a fellow I haven’t seen in a while and making plans to meet up soon. I’m grateful for our internet outage forcing us to change our traditional nighttime activities oriented around the TV. I’m grateful for the reminder to send support to a newcomer who has been struggling. I’m grateful AA is generally a safe space of people who are genuinely trying to better themselves – it’s truly a gift to have access to this on the regular. I’m grateful for a new game of intense catch with Harper that tires him out fairly quick. I’m grateful for exercising the tenet that esteemable acts build self-esteem. I’m grateful for taking stock of what is working in my life and truly feeling content about that rather than focusing on how the grass can always be greener. I’m grateful for digging into why I’m becoming more of a shopaholic of late – while I don’t have the answers or haven’t quite rectified my behavior, I’m glad to be in the process of honest investigation rather than deliberate avoidance.

I took a short hiatus from attending meetings as regularly as I usually do for a variety of reasons – both reasonable and not so much. However I’m glad to have attended one yesterday evening where the topic was “pain”. Granted the subject is intense, especially in our AA circles, I truly appreciated how solutions-focused the majority of shares were.

One of them in particular hit me hard because I haven’t heard this tidbit of wisdom in a long while. The fellow said for us to get through pain we must practice humility. My ears immediately perked and I turned up the dial on the “active listening” part of my brain. He said there is no magic eraser that can simply or quickly wash away our troubles. We have to accept them, just like we need to accept the rest of life on life’s terms, and that involves believing in humility as a healer of pain. Not everything (or much for that matter) can be eradicated with a bottle. We need to experience necessary character-building in order to gain insights from our past and use them to do better moving forward.

Certainly the above is very reminiscent of Step 7 – especially what is detailed in the Twelve And Twelve (pages. 70-76). The chapter talks about the beautiful evolution of our relationship with humility in this Program. It starts with Step 1, where we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, finally accepting how messed up we become when we imbibe. That realization for many sadly comes after tremendous fatigue and hardship. Then as we go through the Steps the embrace of humility transforms from something initially sought because of despair (“forced feeding on humble pie” as the 12 & 12 says on pg. 74) into a “nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity”.

As our egos get punctured, we realize how much can be gained from the character-building of going through suffering emotionally sober and not fleeing at the smallest slight. Each instance of doing this successfully means we are laying the foundation of fearing pain less and coveting humility more. While said foundation solidifies the longer we remain sober, we almost naturally open up our minds to the idea of a Higher Power taking the reins. Relinquishing control to a HP isn’t an arduous task because we realize being the Stage Manager of our life only leads to chaos. It is no longer invigorating to fill the role, but rather quite exhausting. That responsibility belongs to something greater than ourselves – whether it’s God in the traditional sense or, in my case, the mountains I see during my daily run in Cheesman Park.

By embracing the concept of HP more throughly and more regularly, I am able interact with my mind in ways that mitigate the power of familiar defects like fear, anxiety, or ego. Also when pain enters the picture it isn’t a sensation that needs to be avoided at all costs. It is something that needs to be better understood so I can move past it in healthy ways. Of course my HP is always available to assist if I chose to keep the channels of communication clear with an honest, open and willing mind. Ultimately, humility is the key ingredient for ensuring this can happen in as seamless a way as possible.

I’ll end by sharing the last sentence for Step 7 on page 76 in the Twelve and Twelve because it perfectly encapsulates my feelings on how allowing humility to infuse my spirit can be the gateway for discovering broad relief:

If that degree of humility [during Step 1] could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession [alcoholism] could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

Amen.

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Yesterday morning, I replied to a message from a reader planning to obtain a vanity callsign. He asked, “Which [suffix] letters would make an easy callsign to send [in CW] and copy in your experience?” This is a great question. I do have a few suggestions. My previous call I suggest avoiding ending your callsign … Continue reading Choosing the Perfect Vanity Callsign: Tips for CW Operators →

I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a fresh week, for my friends and family, for the holiday season, for comfy sweatshirts and slippers. I’m grateful to work from home, for AA, for my sponsor, for revelations, and for change.

Goooood morning my friends (: As always, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and an even better Thanksgiving!

I’m feeling a little under the weather today, so my tank feels particularly low on energy however I do have a few things to say. But we’ll keep them short and sweet today (;

1) It should be illegal to work the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know, I know capitalism but seriously…. who wants to work. I want to be snuggled under blankets watching Christmas movies for the next three weeks please and thank you.

2) My parents and sister came into town yesterday and we did indeed get to do several Christmasy things which truly is a gift of sobriety. To be able to spend a nice day with my family is all that I can ask for. We stopped by St. Pats Cathedral too and it’s super easy to fall back into Catholicism during the holidays however, I haven’t really talked to any kind of a higher power in a long time. I haven’t really talked to my grandfather in a long time either.

3) The above said, my 3-year anniversary is officially less than a month away so just be prepared for some major reflection. Sitting in St. Pats and thinking about my lack of conversations with God and my preference of church basements just brought me all the way back to what is above all else the most important – that I am an alcoholic and HP whatever that is to me always has my back. HP loves me exactly the way I am, so why can I not love myself exactly the way that I am? The path is already made so why do I have to force myself along in the dark instead of just trusting that if I move forward HP will push me the rest of the way? Why is it that the place I feel so sure of myself, the place I DO feel exceptional is in a church basement full of other addicts and alcoholics? Because that is who I am, and I know that in my bones. There’s no fear of being kicked out, there’s no fear of being judged (99% of the time). There’s no fear of being alone. Because the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous will always remain full of people who are willing to help, to love you until you can love yourself, who just want to see you stay sober and to succeed. Sometimes I think my anxiety, my sadness, the way I feel stuck actually IS God telling me in one of the only ways they can that something isn’t right. Something needs to change. And maybe I’m too tired, too confused, too scared to make any real changes right now. But I can listen – if I believe those feelings are HP talking to me the least, I can do is listen. January 1^st isn’t going to come, and the clock isn’t going to magically rest and the slate isn’t automictically going to be whipped clean and I’m not miraculously going to feel better. But maybe if I start really listening now, by the time 1/1 does come, I’ll be in a better place to make a change. To start over, move in a different direct, change my perspective, feel exceptional everywhere not just in basements. Who knows. The possibilities could be endless if I really do start to listen.

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Xx

Jane

Many thanks to Jonathan (KM4CFT), for sharing the following article about his portable field radio kit, which will be featured on our Field Kit Gallery page. If you would like to share your field kit with the QRPer community, read this post.  CFT1 Field Kit by Jonathan (KM4CFT) I thought I would supply my own field … Continue reading Field Radio Kit Gallery: KM4CFT’s CFT1 Field Kit →

I’m grateful for the beginning of December. I’m grateful for a great holiday with people I love. I’m grateful for living a different life. I’m grateful for knowing that all I have to do is my best. I’m grateful for seeing that I’m enough. I’m grateful to be sober today.

LAST WEEK ON TFLMS:

song of the week (perhaps “of the year”):

TFLMS Weekend: Where Sobriety Isn’t Just a Consequence…

(last weekend)

By Teri KO4WFP Fall weather has finally returned to Savannah, Georgia so it is time to get out for more Parks on the Air. Monday, November 18, I headed to a park I had yet to activate – the Savannah National Wildlife Refuge (US-0522). This park and I have history together prior to my involvement … Continue reading The POTA Babe Reconnects With Her Past →