I’m grateful for logging higher than average elevation gains during my run where I also got to wear short sleeves. I’m grateful for overstuffing on tasty Indian takeout that was made extra spicy especially for me. I’m grateful for how much of a relief it has been seeing Harper’s new home alone regimen working – much less stress on both of us. I’m grateful for receiving a lovely painting of Independence Pass, a place that holds special personal significance, from a NYC AA friend who has helped me a lot over the years. I’m grateful for a meeting where we covered a unique reading from “As Bill Sees It” speaking to the significance of AA’s circle + triangle – a concept I hadn’t dwelt on much, but am glad I did last night. I’m grateful that despite moving from NYC to Denver I’ve found the beautiful ethos of AA to be quite consistent, which feels like such a miracle given how autonomous each group is. I’m grateful for how much of a better mood I am in when I also experience solid sleep. I’m grateful for how many gifts I’ve been showered with in this life – a warm home, a nurturing partnership, my health, my mind back, people who love me, “free” membership to a Program that teaches me how to be a better human every day, an adorable dog, a functioning car, funds to pay my bills, easy access to nature, routines that keep me serene, ancestors who broke their backs ensuring I get the freedoms I have today, and so much more. I feel truly and utterly blessed.

Last week I was hanging out with a fellow who recently moved here from Chicago. As two big city kids (me from NYC) we were commenting on the relatively smaller scale place we both had landed. I’ll be honest I have been slightly bearish on Denver for the past week for a variety of reasons. A major one, sort of orthogonal to any locale I suppose, revolves around building community. I know that comes with time and based off of my San Francisco experience it can take nearly two years. However I miss other key elements of big-city living like the diversity, the energy, the culture, the overall cosmopolitan feel, especially during the Holidays which is my favorite time of year in New York.

I’m not proud to admit, but my conversation with this Chicago fellow too often veered into overly critical territory. After we parted ways I felt uneasy about my demeanor so I became inspired to put into practice a crucial component of my emotional sobriety: Acceptance. I know I’ve written about acceptance a few times already, but embracing it does serve as an important gateway for letting me inhabit a calm, content mental space.

To allow my mind to even be open to such thinking though, I first need to take a step back and be reminded of my Higher Power. When I let my HP in it puts whatever I’m going through into perspective. That perspective permits me to analyze matters more holistically and more realistically. As a result any extremes in my thinking eventually subside. The final piece involves Gratitude. Particularly for cases where I’m processing negativity, gratitude helps reframe my thinking towards the myriad of things going well in life that I can frequently overlook. To summarize, the sequence of actions for me to healthily internalize acceptance involves the following:

So how did I apply the above when it comes to Denver? First I took a long walk to the east side of Cheesman Park where I could see the majestically snow-capped Rockies. Staring out at those imposing natural wonders gave me pause. In that quiet, pensive state my Higher Power arrived. The sheer enormity of my surroundings, the realization of how tiny I am in comparison and how fleeting time is served to humble me enough to get me out of self-pity and petty griping.

Soon other thoughts began cascading into my mind. I acknowledged I came to Denver because I wanted to come. I had a choice and I made it in a thoughtful, sober manner. I wanted to challenge myself in new, positive ways. I wanted to experience the lifestyle in a part of the country that was quite foreign to me. I wanted to be closer to some epic nature. I wanted to walk down streets where I had no history. I wanted space. I wanted to build a home with my partner that is ours – together. I wanted to move not because I was escaping from something, but because I was looking to get outside my comfort zone. I wanted to adopt fresh routines.

Has all this been happening since moving here in February? Yes, it most definitely has. Knowing this I can do more than simply accept Denver, I can thrive here since I have so much to be grateful for these days. I am slowly building a cool, new sober network of people. I’ve visited more breathtaking National Parks in nine months than I have in over the past decade. I am in a wonderfully cozy, comfortable home in a pretty dynamic part of the city. I’m surrounded by a bevy of AA meetings. Thanks to smart saving, I usually have the financial means to do what I want. I live right by my favorite park that proves to be a challenging running route and provides breathtaking views. I have a garage in a neighborhood where parking is notoriously difficult. I have some delicious restaurants, quality coffee shops, and two well-packed grocery stores within walking distance. I have fairly easy access to the mountains given my proximity to the highway that gets us there. Honestly, I can keep going but it’s obvious there is a tremendous amount for me to be thankful for in the life I’ve built in my new surroundings.

What I’m arriving at ultimately is that I am glad Denver is my home. I am also glad AA is such a vital stopgap for me when it comes to conflating negative ideas or wallowing too much in pessimism. The Program has granted me the training to look at my situation in ways that ensure my defects don’t overwhelm me. It certainly doesn’t mean I have become some kind of pollyanna. Honestly I’d find that quite inauthentic to who I am at my core. However it does let me reflect on the good and bad, with Acceptance being the foundation for whatever analysis of my current circumstance. Always building on top of that foundation ensures I remain clear-eyed as I continue trudging along the path of recovery.

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