The Power of AA

I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for our new apartment, to be living on the Upper West Side, for my parents coming up to help, for all of my friends. I’m grateful for a safe trip to and from Palm Springs, for AA and for my sponsor. I’m grateful for being able to walk to meetings again, to feel at ease, for the flowers on the island from my mom. I’m grateful for where we landed after all of the pain.

Hello friends! Hope everyone had a nice weekend as always and I PROMISE…soon I will come to you live on a Monday morning soon. For now, it is Sunday as I type yet again except this time I am firmly planted on the ground in my new apartment where I feel safe and honey and not like I’m going to be attacked at any minute.

But first – Palm Springs. What an absolutely gorgeous place. If you have never been you are literally nestled in between mountains that you can basically touch, the weather is gorgeous and I cannot possibly think of an acceptable reason to ever leave.

True to form though I am an East Coaster at heart and I did come home from the mountainous oasis. There was of course, lots of other people drinking. Someone asked me if I had ever had a drink ever in my life and it took everything in me not to keel over laughing. There were LOTS of mocktails available and I had absolutely no desire to drink. It amazes me truly how through all of this I have not wanted to drink.

So I came home, Tim left for London the next day and the day after that we picked up and moved. I cannot even tell you how relieved I feel. And I know I’ve said it 10000 times but I will say it again:

Through this awful, horrible time where I have never felt more powerless in my entire life, it has also been the most beautiful time. We had an army of people show up for us, God put everything we needed, every solution, every finance, our new home, right in our path. We’ve had so much help and have been shown so much love. I started a new job where I feel so fulfilled and happy and excited to go to work again. Timmy and I celebrated three years together. I celebrated another year sober. The power of AA, the power of sobriety has been so clearly in my face that I am not sure if I can ever doubt that power ever again.

God will only give you what you can handle as the saying goes and let me tell you I am TAPPED OUT. I can handle nothing else and I really need a break. But I cannot let it get lost how life changing in the best possible way this all has been.

So thank God I didn’t pick up a drink. Because I would have missed all of this.

Leave a comment

xx

Jane