Many thanks to Jonathan (KM4CFT) who shares the following note: We are pleased to announce the release of some new products: a 100 watt version of the popular KM4CFT End Fed Kit as well as a Leg Strap, which is perfect for those who have the KM4CFT paddles, Bamakey TP-III or ModernMorse Paddles (or any small … Continue reading New Antenna and Leg Strap from KM4CFT →

I am so grateful to be sober today.

Hello my friends – hope everyone had a lovely weekend no matter WHO you were rooting for in the Super Bowl (; 

I don’t get my dress over my head about the Super Bowl unless Rihanna is performing the halftime show but I got to spend sometime with friends who I haven’t seen in a while and that is truly all I needed to make it a great Super Bowl Sunday. 

I’ve typed and deleted a number of times this morning because I’m just not sure what to say. These past few weeks, if you have been following, have obviously been hard. But there hasn’t been one minute where we haven’t had support from people in and out of the program. 

Today’s reflection is a good one – God is everything or God is nothing. I’ve been turning to God every step of the way and all of this time I have been presented with opportunities to be of service over and over and over again. All of this has been hard but I haven’t wanted to drink and truly that is a miracle to me. 

Tim and I are working on getting the HECK out of this apartment and so moving on its own is a stressful activity and on top of everything else I’m just exhausted. 

All of that to say, we are waiting on ONE more piece of paperwork and the person who is putting that together for us asked if they can start the letter with ‘To whom this may concern’ and I think I want to write my own to whom this may concern letter(s). So why not do it here where it’s safe. 

To whom this may concern, 

What the fuck. Seriously. Where are you building? Where are you, City of New York? Three more people were attacked and it’s going to keep happening and happening unless you do something. So why haven’t you done anything? 

To whom this may concern, 

If God is everything or God is nothing, can you please share where God was when this happened? Or even as my anger starts to subside as it relates to God, I understand that maybe this wasn’t meant for us but it happened to us because we can handle it but Jesus Lord above me please can we just skip to the part where we are out of here and safe. On the other side of that coin, I know that we WILL get there. I just want to skip right to that and unfortunately I cannot. So please give me the strength to keep going. 

To whom this may concern, 

Thank you for keeping my boy alive. Thank you for keeping my injuries non life threatening. Thank you for all of the good people we have in our lives who love us and we love twice as much right back. Thank you for all of the GOOD that has happened in between all of the bad. I’m sorry for being angry. I’m sorry for wavering trust. I am doing my best and please keep carrying us the rest of the way. 

To whom this may concern, 

I am grateful that once all of this is over I can say (God willing) that I did not drink. And I can take this and help someone else. That there are a number of silver linings here that I’m not all the way ready to look at. I’m grateful that we have the resources to get out because other people might have to stay. I am so grateful that I have this great big community that has NOT let me down. I’m so grateful to have a place where I can feel everything, where I am safe. 

To whom this may concern, 

Thank you. 

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xx  

Jane 

Recently, @JasonMartinRF left a comment on my YouTube channel mentioning his excitement about getting on the air with CW but also his concern about the high cost of antennas—especially self-supporting options that don’t require trees. His comment resonated with me because many operators face the same challenge when setting up a portable station, particularly for … Continue reading Eric’s Go-To Low-Cost, Self-Supporting Antenna System for POTA →

I’m grateful for a snowy night and a fire in the fireplace. I’m grateful for surviving the flu. I’m grateful for chicken soup from the diner. I’m grateful for having a chance to build something. I’m grateful for seeing what I didn’t. I’m grateful to be sober today.

LAST WEEK ON TFLMS:

TFLMS Weekend: Where Sobriety Isn’t Just a Consequence…

(last weekend)

By KO4WFP Note: This is the third article for my trip to southwest Georgia at the beginning of January 2025. If you didn’t read the previous article, it is available here: Chickasawhatchee WMA (US-3739) In POTA and camping, one may plan and prepare; but no matter how much of that one does, there are invariably … Continue reading Challenges for the POTA Babe →

Most esteemed and highly-valued subscribers:

I apologize, but on account of the sudden onset of the flu around 1:15am, I won’t be writing this morning. Fear not, you shall not be left high and dry; with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, what could be more appropriate reading than this:

Have a happy Friday and I’ll see you next week!

Wednesday, January 29, 2025, was a busy day, but that morning, I was yearning for a little POTA time. I carved out an hour in the late afternoon to play radio—just enough time for a quick activation on the Blue Ridge Parkway (US-3378). I had two new pieces of gear I was eager to test: … Continue reading Pure POTA Fun: A Quick Two-Watt Activation with New Gear and a Vintage Pack →

I’m grateful for an enjoyable run where I had the strength to push on elevation again. I’m grateful for how writing has become such an integral part of me processing things in life. I’m grateful for hearing a fellow who I haven’t seen in a while qualify in-depth about her meditation practice. I’m grateful for having become much better at sitting with my thoughts and letting the negative ones pass through with greater ease. I’m grateful for an HOA meeting where everyone was refreshingly nice, something I never experienced in NYC. I’m grateful for a day counter who I’ve known since the beginning of my own sobriety still keeping at it despite the setbacks. I’m grateful for reflecting on just how many small “next right actions” AA has taught me because when I leverage them (or simply think about them) it provides me a wonderful sense of security. I’m grateful for the walls I had built up over the years to hide myself from people slowly melting away. I’m grateful for the joy I get from being in our home – it has become such a cozy, meaningful space to build memories. I’m grateful for my partner’s infectious laughter when I showed him the video of Werner Herzog saying “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” on Conan.

One of the life developments I didn’t mention in my previous post about musings at 40 is that I got engaged during that trip. It was a nice, simple little proposal at the Grand Canyon. While this is unequivocally good news, there was a voice in the back of my head thinking, “How am I going to address this with family?”. It’s funny there is always that voice in the back of my head.

I do come from a loving household, but it is steeped in religious orthodoxy. There are strict parameters on how I should comport myself in public and private because doing so means I am a good person in the eyes of God. As a gay alcoholic to say I’ve transgressed those boundaries innumerable times would still feel like an understatement.

However the more sober experience I gain, I am finding a happy medium between the religiosity I grew up with and my ever evolving personal form of spirituality. Discovering and defining that space for me has been part of the joy in working the Steps. I also think it is why I am not flipping out over how to share my (again joyous) update with my parents. Unfortunately we’re still locked in a battle over my sexuality and for the past few years it has been peaceful because I haven’t brought it up.

Strategic avoidance is of course not the answer when a major shift occurs in this area of my life. Luckily I feel like I am on strong enough sober footing where I know how to share the news with them in a kind, compassionate, and constructive way. In fact I’ve already taken several actions that would seem incredibly foreign to my former alcoholic self.

First, I booked a trip back to NYC to talk to them. If they want to engage in-person then I certainly have nothing to hide and should make myself available. I am sure they will have plenty of questions or feedback and I owe them answers face-to-face. I know it’ll be a rough conversation, but the right thing to do to honor them is to show up, which for this alcoholic is certainly turning a new leaf.

Second, I asked for help from a cousin around how to navigate the upcoming journey, something a quasi lone-wolf type like myself would never have done when vodka seemed like the obvious next right answer. Thankfully a drink has not crossed my mind as an option. Today it is about surrounding myself with community that can provide me advice, love, and support as I tread complex territory.

Third, part of the guidance I got was sharing my news in an email prior to my trip. This way, regardless of how the conversation goes while I’m there, they will always have a mature, structured, and honest message to refer to after all is said and done. Because of Step 8 work, such an approach felt natural and correct. I’ve already written the email out, shared it for feedback, and will send the message off later today.

I share the above to remind myself I am ultimately on solid ground because of sobriety. I can welcome the joys and the less-than-ideal stuff without searching for booze. Just as importantly, I am able to temper my defects with the next right moves that the Steps have taught me and that the stories I’ve heard in these rooms have taught me. Next week in NYC should be interesting, but I am luxuriating in the miracle that I am feeling strong in my emotional sobriety. Only four years ago anything, and I mean anything, was an excuse to get blacked out. Right now AA is empowering me to find ways to protect my serenity while still being able to engage healthily with the broader world.

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Many thanks to Michael (OK7SE) who writes: Hello Thomas. Michal (OK1SIM) has put together an online map that might be useful for activation planning. You might want to check it out: https://ham-map.com/ I usually activate “what’s available,” so I like that I can generate a map that aggregates SOTA, POTA, GMA, and WWFF for a … Continue reading Planning an Activation Rove? Michael recommends Ham-Map.com →

Many thanks to Eric (WD8RIF), who notes that if you live in the US and have incoming packages from China or Hong Kong via the USPS, you may experience delays. Here’s the story from the BBC: US Postal Service halts China parcels after Trump tariffs (BBC) The US Postal Service (USPS) said it has stopped … Continue reading USPS Temporarily Suspends Parcel Shipments from China and Hong Kong Amid New Tariffs →