I’m grateful for a quiet weekend. I’m grateful for letting go. I’m grateful for a soft breeze and the pirate balcony garden. I’m grateful for what I’ve needed to learn, I’m grateful for chances to improve. I’m grateful to be sober today.
(last weekend)
I’m grateful for a Friday morning. I’m grateful for the way things change and the world shifts. I’m grateful for knowing where I am. I’m grateful for my little garden. I’m grateful for coffee outside on a bright, sunny morning. I’m grateful to be sober today.
Song of the Week:
Boy, there was quite a bit of back and forth over the sotw over the last few days. I had the idea for “She’s Not There,” last week, but then all kinds of other songs kept presenting themselves. Also, I definitely feel stalked by Spotify. A few weeks ago, the sotw was “Eye in the Sky” by the Alan Parsons Project, and now I hear that song freaking every time I start playing music. To be frank, I’m definitely not understanding this particular transmission, but the Universe is quite insistent when it is trying to make a point, so it even started putting this version into rotation:
Anyway, it has been kind of a scattered, all-over-the-map week, but here we are and it feels good to be committed to the sotw. So why this song, “She’s Not There” by The Zombies? Because it’s a frickin awesome song, is why. As a kid, I used to sit in my room at night, spinning the dial of my am/fm clock radio among the 3 or 4 decent FM stations that were available: KRNA (93.3) at the bottom of the dial, Q103 (out of the Quad Cities) and Z104. I think the scrolling, briefly pausing to recognize the song and then scrolling again, repeated 50-75 times an hour, drove my brother nuts. I think this because he told me repeatedly that it was driving him nuts. His requests went unheeded. It must be hard to be a younger brother.
I just thought this was a really cool song and it played in my head a lot when I walked. In a funny way, these songs that I kept on a loop in my noggin, ended up defining parts of the alcoholic life narrative that were so hard to shake. Is it possible that my late 1970’s playlist helped shape the shadowy belief in the back of my head that all relationships were doomed to failure and would result only in pain and loss. Of course, what’s weird about that is that I had no such relationship history when I started to form that view.
But I loved this song, so cool, so wistful. Those definitely became aspirational brand attributes. I write a lot about my alcoholic antecedents, and the more I explore that history, the more I find out about the version of myself that is rocketing through the 2020’s. I’ve written at length about the night I first realized that I was an alcoholic:
I think I was probably 16 when me and a couple of friends made our first effort at getting into a bar. It was a super dingy dive bar on Linn Street in Iowa City called Magoo’s. It was pretty horrible in there (don’t even ask about the bathrooms), but the thing that sold us on it was that they didn’t seem to care about some high schoolers hanging out in there. And we did, it became our regular place, which in retrospect is a pretty amazing (not in the good way) thing.
I remember the first time we went in there, we sat nervously at the bar, trying to engage in informal, we’re so 19 type of banter.1 The bartender asked for our drink orders and my friends rattled off things, I was panicked. My parents didn’t really drink, so I had very little background and the drinking I had already been doing had either been passed beers or a bottle of vodka in Fred H’s car or pink jesus punch at Deak R’s house. I ordered a drink that I had often seen ordered in movies. The bartender peered at me when it was my turn, and I confidently said, “Scotch and soda, please.”
I was 16 and that tasted terrible. The bartender had to have known, but it was 1978 so things were different. As I mentioned, Magoo’s became our regular haunt and I came to discover that the jukebox was fantastic. So many great songs to listen to, and of course, one of my reigning favorites, “She’s Not There.” After a while, I started going to Magoo’s on my own, sometimes pre-gaming evenings with my friends there. Of course, I already knew this had to be a secret. I knew that my drinking was very, very different than my friends’ drinking.
That’s why I was there on that perfect night, the night where I realized that I was an alcoholic. I have so many insane stories, and what’s weird to me is how almost-cinematic they are in my mind’s eye. I’m sure I import a bit of my own alcoholic love of the dramatic into the memory, but the memories are fundamentally true.
The truth is, that “perfect” night at Magoo’s wasn’t so perfect. Yes, I was looking forward to going out with my friends later, those evenings went feral pretty quickly without the need for pre-gaming. And yet…I remember looking at the moonrise over my shoulder, feeling the soft, late-summer breeze blowing through the door, my feeling was peace and calm. My feeling was “things are so right, exactly right now.”
That’s because I had just hit the recommended dosage. I was on my third margarita and that’s when the world came into the proper focus for me—even when I was 18. I was funny and fearless and sarcastic and cool; after margarita number three. But on that perfect evening, I was alone. There was no one sitting across the booth from me taking in my witticisms, appreciating my encyclopaedic knowledge of music, sensing just how cool I was; It was just me.
Looking back, I can see that drinking mostly changed the way I thought about myself. The foundational lie for alcoholics and addicts is that I can be the person that others crave, love, desire, admire, reward, if I just keep drinking that magical elixir. Drinking makes that fantasy real, takes that narrative from hamster wheel to body and we’re off to the races. For me, changing those narratives, the negative thinking patterns, has paved the road to sobriety for me.
This is going to be a word-twister, but can’t think of another way to describe this: My realization that night, the thing that plunged the icy truth into my stomach, was seeing that being the person I thought I was required me to drink. That night, I saw that alcohol had become my secret foundation, the thing that both propelled me to the spot in the world where I thought I belonged and that would ultimately ruin me. That’s what I saw that night as I listened to “Strange Magic.”
You see, that’s what happened. I had played “She’s Not There,” but I hadn’t selected “Strange Magic,” that was someone else’s pick. The fact that those two songs played back-to-back is kind of freaky. To the extent that part of my narrative was song-fueled (remember, I was a teenager when I was writing this draft of the narrative), it makes sense that other songs might stimulate the other dramatic climaxes in the story. I get that my belief that the Universe is sending me personal messages this way is kind of ridiculous, self-serving and grandiose, but I kind of do believe that.
I heard “She’s Not There,” a few weeks ago when I was on a walk and listening to old playlists. I still think it’s just about the coolest song, but I also see how living that narrative took me far away from myself. Of course, the other complication is that when one lives a certain narrative (even if it’s not accurate) for a substantial amount of time, well, it kind of becomes the truth. I think that’s why the Sixth and Seventh Steps carry a sense of acceptance and resignation, grief and loss even.
Cagey, old, veteran me now sees that neither song was “true.” The sense of remorseless loss, that this is how things always turn out, the idea of walking through the world a husk, with the sweetness burned away by mini-tragedies, was simply an invention. My life has really been nothing like “She’s Not There.” Also, the line that grabbed me in “Strange Magic,”
It turns out that was wrong, too. In case you hadn’t noticed, things haven’t exactly ended. I may not be able to finish at the rim like in the olden days, but we’re going pretty f****** strong over here. It’s not that my life is some spectacular sequence of sensational trips, glittery events and restaurant reservations; I’m looking forward to being the only guy in the office on a summer Friday.
Sobriety has been a journey of self-discovery; and it’s not necessarily always been smooth sailing. My happiness these days doesn’t really come from external events or other people, it comes from the sense that I’m finally living my own life; the one that was kind of intended for me. If you wanted to ask me for a song that I think defines me these days, well, be prepared, it’s different than where we started:2
Happy Friday
Yes, at this point in time, the legal drinking age in the State of Iowa was 19. This created some complications for me later on, including a trial where the charges against me were dramatically dismissed.
I do listen to this on the subway a lot.
I’m grateful for having time to rest and allow my body to recover. I’m grateful for one last day of delicious homemade focaccia bread. I’m grateful to take the time to appreciate the little things in my life that truly add up to something extraordinary. I’m grateful to live next to such a wonderful park that brings me peace every time I do my loop around it. I’m grateful for my dog being a constant source of joy, love, and wisdom. I’m grateful to make good decisions that are based less on selfishness and more on selflessness. I’m grateful to be excited for the future without trying to future trip too much.
I find myself on a not-so-infrequent basis feeling that if I only buy X thing, attain Y achievement, or ensure Z event happens then I’ll feel happier, more fulfilled, more serene. On occasion this line of thinking is true and I do get a mental boost, but it’s temporary. The effects wear off and then I’m like “So, what’s next?”.
I’ve been better at checking myself earlier and earlier when I sense such a pattern is about to repeat for the umpteenth time. Pausing is a wonderful, first-response salve. If I operate on instinct always then chaos tends to enter the picture quickly. Letting time work its magic is critical for all of my decision-making. While I can obsess for a little bit about the item I want sitting in my Amazon cart or the exterior aesthetic updates I would love to make to my car, my mind eventually does move on. Not immediately clicking “checkout” or calling the dealership ensures my obsession transforms into something closer to objectivity, which lets me make the most pragmatic final decision.
During that mental timeout, I usually try to take inventory of what is presently good in my life. An impromptu gratitude list, which I do every evening anyways, helps pass the time constructively. Practicing gratitude in the moment allows me to quiet the covetous voice pushing me to seek more. I look at where my feet are now (metaphorically) and give thanks for whatever it is I’m happy to have already – usually health, my partner and puppy, being sober, being given the grace to have pivoted from self-destruction, etc. Reminding myself of what is in my possession, and not always of what I desire, evens out my incessant search for the next shiny thing.
When I’m embracing gratitude I’m also investing in my spiritual fitness. By humbly accepting what I have, by finding those silver linings more readily, I push away resentments from forming and allow lightness to enter my mind. A lighter mind lets me communicate more clearly with my Higher Power. Communicating with HP ensures I make healthy choice and stay secure in self. This HP connection places my issues into a broader context, reminding me there’s a whole wide world out there. Find ways to be of service, be of value to my community and not fixate on the next minute thing that may or may not bring personal fulfillment.
All the aforementioned thinking is thanks to the 12 Steps and how I work them. I have Step 4 identifying character defects like obsession, envy, and selfishness. I have Steps 6 and 7 creating paths for me to let go of these defects if I make the space for it. I have Step 11 encouraging me to stay connected to my Higher Power and get out of self. And of course I have Step 12 telling me to practice the principles of AA in all my affairs so I know even when I don’t have a drink in my hand I do have alcoholic tendencies that need to be addressed multiple times a day by using the wisdom derived from all 12 Steps.
It’s comforting to now have a process that allows me to look inwardly for validation. Before it was always external stuff that defined my worth, but never truly satiated my soul. I spent so much time trying to feed it though I forgot my who I am. I forgot what I truly valued and what I truly needed, which is how alcohol became such a welcome, overpowering companion. Today that companion is AA, it is the 12 Steps, and that has given me my self-worth back and the ability to make thoughtful choices around living a balanced, sustainable life. It lets me ask myself the question, “where are my feet today?” and answer it with a sense of contentment.
Hello all!
If you are interested in a 12 Step approach that incorporates Buddhism, look no further than Kevin Griffin to start your journey.
Kevin incorporates fundamentals of both 12 Steps and Buddhism into his path of recovery. I personally appreciate his appreciation for the 12 Steps and the fact that he finds both paths compatible.
If you are not interested in a 12 Step approach to Buddhist recovery, I’d suggest Recovery Dharma.
Regardless of your path, I’d highly recommend learning about mindfulness and meditation. Here is a great publisher to seek out books on these subjects.
One great book for learning meditation is Pema Chodron’s “How To Meditate”.
https://pemachodronfoundation.org/product/how-to-meditate-book/
Peace, love and joy to you all.
A Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. I will share my experiences with each step as a resource for newcomers to the program. It is HIGHLY ADVISABLE that you work through the steps with a sponsor! Step Twelve reads:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
A man named Bill had learned of a way that he might possibly be able to find freedom. He suffered from powerlessness over alcohol and it was slowly consuming him.
Bill had learned of a program which offered a spiritual solution. It suggested that most of us who wish to stop drinking cannot do it alone. We need a power greater than ourselves to guide us.
Bill took it one step further. He realized that doctors, clergymen, friends and family weren’t helping him. He needed to talk to someone who understood his problem firsthand.
While out and about one day, Bill found himself near a drinking establishment. He could hear the familiar sounds of camraderie and was terribly tempted and allured to have “just one drink”.
He went to a pay phone and called a local clergyman, about whether there might be any fellows who had been seeking help for alcohol addiction. He had two choices: to drink, or to reach out and help a fellow to not drink.
This is the essence, not only of Step Twelve, but the twelve step programs and the recovery revolution.
I shared this website (the one you are reading) tonight with a friend who is suffering. It was the first time that I have shared it with anyone I know in my personal, non-virtual life (i.e. not Twitter). If there is anything here that can help him to stop drinking and to ease his suffering, then it has all been worth it.
The principles in the twelve steps are not proprietary and are ancient ideas. If you had to strip away all of it down to the most absolutely critical part, you’d be left with “one alcoholic sharing with another”. You don’t have to be a 12-stepper to appreciate that.
The Beatles said, “…and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. Go out and help someone, so that they can help someone else, and so on.
On May 9th, I will be celebrating my 2nd anniversary of sobriety. How did I do it?
When I first became sober two years ago, I was unsure how I was going to accomplish abstinence. I did not need medical intervention, but I was struggling with controlling alcohol. Rehab and extended treatment were going to be a last resort. I decided to give this “AA thing” a shot and to supplement that with individual counseling.
One thing I’ve gained from my 12 Step group and from other resources is a sense of resolve and purpose. I now aspire to be a changed person. I appreciate the value in being a changed person, i.e. different than what I was in my drinking days. I am convinced that it is possible to become a changed person.
I used to drink, in part, because I craved for my life and for my situation to be different than what it was. I abused alcohol as a remedy for stress, anxiety and pain. This became a habit. I became addicted to alcohol. This is a powerful force and one that was going to progressively bring more and more misery.
I was caught in a vicious cycle of work, suffer, drink, relief, suffer, and so on. I felt like a slave or as if I had a parasite inside me with an insatiable appetite. Once again, this is a powerful force that took a hold of me.
To counter this force requires resolve. It requires an equivalent and opposite force to live another way. This other way involves a heartfelt reflection on priorities, values and purpose. It requires taking stock of my life in an honest, uncompromising way. For me, striving for virtue and connection has replaced striving to get drunk.
This new way of life is like a foot path. The end result for me is not a destination. To be on the path is the end result. Right now, right here at this point in the universe, I am on a different path than I was. This new path, or way, is what I consider to be my higher power.
To be a changed person is to be connected. I gradually withdrew from life as an active alcoholic. I am now committed to change and it requires work. I am a creature of habit, so it is easy to slip back into a routine of complacency.
Each day, I try to ask my higher power (the new way) to keep showing me the way. I try to be mindful of my character flaws so that they don’t get in the way of my usefulness to this world. I try to meditate and find ways to stop my thinking. Keeping my side of the street as clean as possible is important.
Most of all, drinking is no longer an option for me. Thankfully, I no longer crave the feeling of intoxication and I don’t need that first drink.
A Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. I will share my experiences with each step as a resource for newcomers to the program. It is HIGHLY ADVISABLE that you work through the steps with a sponsor! Step Eleven reads:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
This is an important piece of the 12 steps for me, as I often feel disconnected and isolated. Let’s examine this piece by piece, because there’s a lot going on here.
A lot of people are hung up on prayer. Some have no issue with it. My observation about 12-step recovery is that people tend to become not only more comfortable with prayer, but genuinely rely upon it. I want to speak to people who are naturally skeptical, like myself. If you are like me, you think logically about who your audience is when you pray. It seems a little silly to talk to something that you don’t believe is there.
Everything I pray to exists in a very concrete way:
I pray to the world. The world is our Earth and all life on Earth. It is Mother Nature and Old Man Winter. It is thunderstorms, and other human beings.
I pray to the universe. The universe is everything, including our tiny little world.
I pray to the Tao. You may not believe in the Tao, but I do. That’s what matters.
I pray to a Higher self, or the Real me. I believe that my thoughts are a product of my brain and Ego. My Real self is separate from my thoughts and my brain. Therefore, I can use my brain to pray to my Real self, my core Being. This may seem a little “out there” to some. Perhaps we can at least accept the idea that there is value in praying to one’s self.
In the Western sense, meditation may be seen as “sitting with God”, or quietly focusing on God. It may be seen as contemplative reading or writing, or reciting verse. It may be seen as something akin to prayer, or it may involve repeating a word or phrase.
In the Eastern sense, there are many approaches to meditation as well. It usually involves quietly sitting. There may be a focus on breathing, and simple observation. It may involve concentration on one thing, such as a mantra or object. There is less of a focus, or no focus at all, on “God”, in the traditional sense. It involves letting go of thoughts and being actualized in the moment.
For me, I am more in tune with the Eastern approaches to meditation. I fully believe it can transform and improve a person’s life, if practiced regularly. It has known benefits, including its more obvious ability to combat stress and anxiety. I believe that it puts me into direct contact with my Higher Power (which is not a deity).
Yoga and Tai Chi, and other forms of active meditation are worth mentioning here. I believe Yoga is essentially an active form of meditation. The word Yoga implies a union, connection and concentration. The whole purpose of yoga might be to connect to yourself, in a way, but also to your Higher Power. Tai Chi, Qinggong, and forms of martial arts are concerned with connecting to life energy, and are great ways to improve our conscious contact.
Let’s focus on the word conscious. Consciousness is something that is talked to at length in the book Power Of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. He suggests that most of us live in a state of unconsciousness for the majority of our lives. A few individuals have been able to consciously align themselves with their core Being, by focusing on Now, and have emerged from this unconsciousness, either momentarily or semi-permanently. This is a terrible paraphrasing of an entire book, but my point is to differentiate between conscious and unconscious.
My belief is that we need to be very conscious about how we live, in order to deal with ourselves and other human beings. We should focus on living with conscious contact to our Higher Power, as opposed to not. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth mentioning that most of us walk around in a hyped-up, emotional, anxious and unconscious state, instead of being naturally peaceful, joyful, and loving.
In order for me to be naturally virtuous, happy and all that good stuff, I need to work on it. I need to consciously do it, as opposed to somehow magically absorbing the Higher Power through inactivity and osmosis. Meditation and prayer are two things that help us to actively improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power. Someday, I hope that it doesn’t take so much effort, but I believe it’s critical to my recovery.
The “God Thing” again. Okay, if we are still hung up on this (as I am from time to time), then remember that a Higher Power is anything that is a higher power than your Ego. I found myself saying, just the other morning, that “I am God. There is no God out there. I’m talking to myself.” Well, my default backup in this situation is a higher, more idealized version of myself. It is separate from my Ego. This version of my Self isn’t concerned about validation or reward, and it is not run by my Ego.
If an Ego-less version of yourself is the highest power that you can believe in at any given moment, then that’s okay. Group of drunks (G. O. D.) is probably a better long-term choice, or the embodiment of collective sobriety, or the Universe. In a moment of doubt, just remember that you are truly separate from your Ego.
My Higher Power is the Tao. The Tao lives in the Now. If I can be in tune with the Tao and live in the Now, then I feel that I am on my way. I am working on a whole website about that, and for the purposes of this post, I won’t go into it.
My Higher Power is not a man, or some dude. If I had to choose, I would choose a female, because the Tao is more in line with more traditional “female” qualities. That said, I don’t feel the need to make this about gender, as we are all different and it’s not about male or female domination. If anything, it’s about a connection and mingling of these two counterparts.
When we look at the Third Step, we make a decision to turn our will over to our Higher Power. We are handing over ownership and this is widely considered to be an act of surrender. If at this point, you struggle with this idea of surrender, it’s understandable. However, this is what we are talking about in Step Eleven. We have turned our will over to our Higher Power, so this step suggests that we need to maintain that knowledge.
What I suggest is to simply remind yourself each and every day, if not frequently, about the Third Step. It is important that we relinquish our will to our Higher Power. As I have said before, I am simply allowing my Higher Power to guide me as I go about my business. I am comfortable with this idea, as opposed to trying to create outcomes that go against the flow of the Universe.
You may believe that your Higher Power takes care of you. This is great, if that’s the case, but for many of us, it’s hard to imagine that our Higher Power is consciously trying to take care of us personally. For me, it’s a little more complicated than that. My belief is that if I’m in line with my Higher Power, then I will be in the Flow. The Higher Power will be inside me and I will naturally be virtuous, selfless, loving, joyful, serene and attractive. I don’t really believe that my Higher Power is concerned about me, at least any more than any other thing or person. I do believe, however, that I won’t be turned down, or rejected if I surrender and accept it.
My belief is that if you are truly in line with your Higher Power, through conscious contact, you will naturally exude the will of your Higher Power. It will be effortless. In fact, if you are trying too hard, or forcing it, then I think you have probably not arrived. I believe that carrying out the will of your Higher Power will become second nature, and you won’t even be aware of it if it’s happening.
Do I think that I’m at this point? Hell no. I am trying to be virtuous, because I am naturally not virtuous. We are all born with peace, joy and love, and that those things are always there. I just need to learn how to tap into those things, and become free of the passengers that have latched on to me in my life. These passengers are self-pity, worry, resentment, dis-ease, sadness, self-righteousness, selfishness, etc. I am trying to be virtuous, and hopefully one day I will be, naturally and effortlessly. Right now, and every day, I need to work for it.
A Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. I will share my experiences with each step as a resource for newcomers to the program. It is HIGHLY ADVISABLE that you work through the steps with a sponsor! Step Ten reads:
Continue to take personal inventory,
and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
At this point in working the Twelve Steps, it starts to feel like they have transformed into daily practices, not just milestones that you have passed. They become a part of our routine and how we interact with the world.
The Tenth Step, in some ways, is the practice of Steps 4 through 9, but on a continual basis. Do a “spot-check” inventory, acknowledge faults to another person, be willing to remove shortcomings, ask HP for guidance, determine if we have harmed someone with our behavior and make amends. It’s not stated in Step 10 explicitly, but this is how I see it — Step 10 is a daily, ongoing version of Steps 4 through 9.
If you are learning about this step for the first time, I should explain what we mean by “personal inventory”. It is the same as Step 4, but here we are doing a “spot check”. We become aware of everything that we’re afraid of, our hangups and resentments, everyone that we have harmed, and any selfish romantic mistakes.
Most of us (if not all of us) experience a re-surfacing of our character defects from time to time. These are instinctive behaviors, so they do not go away completely. We have to try to manage their intensity. I know that I will always have fears, worries, resentments, and ego-driven moments. The inventory is essentially a listing of our fears, resentments, and harms done, followed by the part of ourselves that contributed to these.
If you are doing a good job of managing your shortcomings, then the Tenth step will be easy. Your personal inventory will be minimal. Congratulations on being a good person! However, most of us will have our good and bad days, so we need to “monitor” ourselves. The inventory is something that we are asked to put into practice every day. The multitudes of sponsors out there will have different ideas about how to approach this. I would suggest doing a daily inventory until such time that you can confidently say that you don’t need to. I, for one, am going to try to do this every day.
The Tenth Step asks us to promptly admit “when we were wrong”. Part of this is recognizing that a character defect might be at play. Fear and self-reliance are common culprits. One aspect of this is when we actually do wrong towards someone else. My experience is that when I drank, I didn’t understand how my character defects were manifesting in my daily life. Now that I’m working the Steps, I often notice the part I’m playing, such as when fear creeps in, or when I’m being a jerk. Now I can immediately recognize, acknowledge and admit my wrong.
Sometimes we won’t realize that our character defects were at play until “after the fact”. This is why the Tenth step has us do an inventory. It doesn’t explicitly say to do this every day, so there is some leeway on how you actually do the Tenth Step. Personally, I’m striving to do this actively every day, at least until I’ve had a few years under my belt.
A daily inventory might be summarized as an analysis of your missteps and shortcomings for the day. I’m going to borrow some material from a mobile app called “Tenth Step”, because I think it does a good job of explaining what a Tenth step might be.
In Tenth Step, the mobile app, you answer some questions every day:
1. Was I resentful?
2. Was I dishonest?
3. Did I promptly admit when I was wrong today?
4. Do I owe an apology?
5. Did I do or say something today out of fear?
6. Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once?
7. Did I think today of what I could do for others?
8. Was I kind and loving towards all?
9. Did I reach out to someone in recovery today to see how they were doing?
10. Did I take the time to connect with my higher power through prayer or meditation today?
If you’re like me, you may often not “score” very well. That is a good thing because it’s like a net. It catches you in the act, so that you can make some positive changes in your life.
I highly recommend using this app, or simply asking yourself these questions daily. It’s probably a good thing to do before you go to bed, after interacting with the world.
The ideal would be to immediately notice our wrongs and immediately acknowledge them. I believe that eventually in our recovery we can become the type of people that are keenly aware of fear, resentment, selfishness, and such things. If so, we can react appropriately in the moment.
For those of us in early recovery, it might be good to make this step part of our daily routine. Here is a sort of model day for my own daily recovery:
Wake up and recite the Third Step Prayer, thereby acknowledging the first three steps each day.
Practice meditation (part of the 11th step) to increase my conscious contact with my higher power.
Create a gratitude list. Recite the St. Francis Prayer. Recite the 7th step prayer.
Make any amends that need to be made, whenever possible (9th and 10th steps)
Incorporate things that make me happy and healthy. Diet and exercise are critical!
Incorporate reading, writing and creativity into my day.
Practice mindfulness and try to be keenly aware of my character defects. Try to be a virtuous person always.
Meditate again. Say another prayer.
Call my sponsor, or talk to someone close, if I need to acknowledge some character defects (Step 5).
At the end of my day, do a Tenth Step inventory. This will inevitably walk me through the Steps 4 through 8.
Get a good night’s sleep.
The list above is a loose framework, but hopefully it makes some sense. It is just an ideal for me, as I am still working on my routine. As you can see, I believe that the 10th Step is the beginning of a daily practice incorporating all the steps. The 11th and 12th steps are similar, in that they are incorporated into your everyday life. We begin to reach a point where the Steps are animated parts of our daily existence, not just rungs on a ladder.
73 and 24,
Rich, K0PIR
